Ballet Is Hard Enough. What Happens When You Lose a Year? 紐時賞析/芭蕾舞者 損失巨大的一年職涯無法追回


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讀紐時學英文
2021/04/02 第326期 訂閱/退訂看歷史報份
 
 
紐時周報精選 They Died Saving Others From COVID. Will Anyone Count Them? 紐時賞析/她用2500條推特 悼抗疫醫護
Ballet Is Hard Enough. What Happens When You Lose a Year? 紐時賞析/芭蕾舞者 損失巨大的一年職涯無法追回
紐時周報精選
 
They Died Saving Others From COVID. Will Anyone Count Them? 紐時賞析/她用2500條推特 悼抗疫醫護
文/Andrew Jacobs
譯/李京倫、核稿/樂慧生

她用2500條推特 悼抗疫醫護

Dr. Claire Rezba is exhausted from counting the dead.

克萊兒.雷茲巴為了計算死亡人數而精疲力盡。

An anesthesiologist in Virginia, Rezba, 41, has spent the past year running a Twitter feed that memorializes American health care workers who have died of COVID-19. So far, she has published more than 2,500 tributes to the doctors, emergency room nurses, respiratory therapists and mental health counselors cut down in their prime. Although she knows there are at least a thousand other deaths that remain unrecognized, Rezba plans to discontinue the project at the end of March.

41歲的雷茲巴在美國維吉尼亞州擔任麻醉師,過去一年來都在經營一個推特帳號,紀念死於新冠肺炎的美國醫務人員。到目前為止她發了2500多篇頌詞,紀念英年早逝的醫師、急診室護理師、呼吸治療師和心理諮商師。雖知至少有千名病故醫務人員還沒寫到,她仍打算3月底就收手。

"I'd like to spend some time with my children," said Rezba, who devotes most evenings after work to scouring GoFundMe pages, Facebook memorials and online death notices. "But I'd also like to stop thinking about death all the time."Many Americans share that sentiment.

雷茲巴用大多數公餘的晚間來搜尋群眾募資平台GoFundMe、臉書悼念文和網路上的死亡通知書。她說:「我想多花時間陪陪小孩,也不想再成天想著死亡。」許多美國人都有同感。

But a year since the first recorded coronavirus death of a health care worker — a hospital custodian in Rochester, New York, who died March 17 — those on the front lines are finding it hard to move on.

去年3月17日紐約州羅徹斯特市一名醫院清潔人員死於新冠肺炎,成為美國首位記錄在案的染疫死亡醫務人員,一年過去了,前線醫務人員仍感處境唯難。

They have been hailed as "COVID warriors" but so many do not feel like heroes. They are angry, burned out and feel unappreciated as they struggle with their own wounds, both psychic and physical.

他們被譽為「新冠戰士」,卻有太多人沒有身為英雄之感。他們憤怒,心力交瘁,覺得未受感念,同時還得奮力面對自己身心的創傷。

Their fury is rooted in the weak government response last spring to the pandemic, including the scarcity of personal protective equipment that left workers vulnerable to infection.

他們氣的是,政府去年春天對疫情反應消極,包括個人防護裝具稀少,導致醫務人員容易感染。

Their ire has been compounded by the recent relaxation of mask mandates in some states, a move that experts say is premature.

最近一些州放寬戴口罩的規定,被專家批評為時過早,更讓醫務人員火冒三丈。

"We're not out of the woods yet so it just feels disrespectful to medical workers and devalues the sacrifices we've made," said Dr. Erica Bial, a pain specialist in Massachusetts who runs the COVID-19 Physicians Memorial, a Facebook group dedicated to doctors felled by the coronavirus.

麻州疼痛治療專家艾瑞卡.比爾經營臉書社團「新冠肺炎病故醫師紀念專版」,專門紀念死於新冠肺炎的醫師,她說:「我們還沒擺脫疫情,所以政府所作所為讓醫護人員覺得不受尊重,而且貶低我們所做的犧牲。」

The number of medical workers who lost their lives to the virus over the past year remains elusive. The best estimate comes from a joint project by Kaiser Health News and The Guardian newspaper that has documented more than 3,500 health care worker deaths in the United States since last March.

一年來死於新冠肺炎的醫護人數仍難確定。最明確的估計來自美國凱澤醫藥新聞網和英國衛報的聯合調查,記錄到從去年3月起美國共有3500多名醫務人員死亡。

Rezba is hoping her work can find a more permanent home so that the sacrifices are not forgotten. "Each health care worker death is a tragedy compounded," she said. "It represents the private pain of a sister, father or daughter taken in their prime, and the loss of expertise that impacts the colleagues and patients left behind."

雷茲巴希望她的貼文能有個更具長久性的歸宿,好讓這些醫務人員的犧牲不被遺忘。她說:「每一位醫務人員病故都是一場多重的悲劇,對個人來說意味一個姊妹、父親或女兒英年早逝,帶給親人痛苦,對大眾來說意味又失去一位專才,這會損及其他醫護同僚和病人。」

 
Ballet Is Hard Enough. What Happens When You Lose a Year? 紐時賞析/芭蕾舞者 損失巨大的一年職涯無法追回
文/Gia Kourlas
譯/莊蕙嘉、核稿/樂慧生

芭蕾舞者 失去了巨大的一年

In ballet when you lose a year, you lose a lot. It takes years of sacrifice and training to become a professional, and the performing life of a dancer is short.

在芭蕾的世界,失去一年,損失可大了。經過多年犧牲訓練才能成為一個專業舞者,表演生涯卻頗為短暫。

For elite ballet dancers, a solid career lasts around 15 years — and that comes after roughly a decade of schooling. Could this pause alter the evolution of dance generations?

對菁英芭蕾舞者而言,穩定的職涯約可維持15年,唯須先經10年左右正式學習。這波中斷會改變舞蹈界的世代演進嗎?

"They're losing a year to a year and a half of their career that they're not going to get back," Jonathan Stafford, New York City Ballet's artistic director, said. "It's not like they can make it up on the back end. Everyone eventually is going to age out."

「他們損失一年至一年半的職涯,而且無法追回。」紐約市芭蕾舞團藝術總監強納森•史代佛說。「這並非他們之後能補上的事,到頭來每個人都會不再適齡。」

Ballet dancers need mental toughness to prevail in ordinary times. But this collective timeout is unlike anything they have experienced in their careers.

芭蕾舞者平時就需有堅強的心智方能出類拔萃,碰上這波集體性暫停卻跟他們職涯中任何經歷都大不相同。

"It has to be brutal — physically and psychologically," Mikhail Baryshnikov said in an email. He recalled having "tough tests" — times in his career when injuries had forced him to take off a few months. "But it's hard to imagine what it's been like for dancers sidelined by the pandemic."

「這對身心肯定都是嚴苛考驗。」米夏•巴瑞辛尼可夫在電郵中表示。他回憶職涯中多次因受傷被迫休息數月,遭遇「嚴酷試煉」。「但是,很難想像舞者因為疫情無法表演是何種光景。」

How does a dancer stay motivated and challenged? Some won't have jobs to return to, and those who do don't know when performances will return to normal. And the clock keeps ticking.

舞者如何維持積極向上和接受挑戰的心志?一些人將回不去原來的工作崗位,回得去的也不知演出何時能恢復正常。而時光繼續流逝。

"I can't imagine any point in my career being dealt this card," said Wendy Whelan, the associate artistic director of City Ballet where she was a leading dancer for 30 years. "You are taking up steps — up, up, up, up, up — and you don't want to get knocked off of any one of those steps at any point. Then, when you get there, you want to hang on to it as long as you can."

「我無法想像職涯中任何時間點碰上這種情況。」曾任紐約市芭蕾舞團首席舞者30年的該團副藝術總監溫蒂•韋倫說。「你順著台階往上爬,一階階攻頂,不想在任何時刻從任何一階上被打下來。而當你登頂後,會想在那兒待得愈久愈好。」

Stafford said he wasn't worried about dancers regaining their athleticism and movement quality; he even thinks their technique will be better, a result of working more slowly and focusing on the basics. But it will take time — months of classes and then rehearsals — to get them back to where they were last March.

史代佛說,他並不擔心舞者無法回復運動能力與動作品質,甚至認為他們的技巧會更好,因為能以較慢步調練習及專注於基礎。但需要相當時間,數月課程再加上排練,才能讓他們重回去年三月的狀態。

Dancers are practical; this year has shown that they are also incredibly resilient. While the shutdown has meant time away from performing, it has also given dancers an opportunity to experience life beyond their art, and many have relished the pause. They are taking college classes or teaching or having surgery they have put off, knowing there is time to recover. There are lots of babies on the way.

舞者是務實的,這一年顯示他們也極具韌性。封城雖意味無法表演,卻也給舞者體驗舞蹈以外人生的機會,許多人很享受這段空檔。他們去大學上課、教課或接受擱置的手術,因為知道有時間可以休養。許多新生命即將誕生。

"I am convinced that they're going to come back more well rounded, more interesting, softer in a way," Whelan said, adding: "This time has been so healthy. Unfortunate, yet healthy."

「我確信他們再回來時會更全面而完整,更有趣,或者也可以說更柔軟。」韋倫說,她又說:「這段時光十分健康,不幸,卻健康。」

 
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